Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Recent Series and Self Critique

I've had some ideas slopping around in my brain since I finished "Piet Goes Green" and sent it off to a show (small bragging here). I wanted to continue working with some grey fabrics I had dyed and painted and some others that I thought it was time to use....
I had heard a suggestion of working with a 12" x 24" size as a good size to sample ideas and design. It seemed to suit me, so off I went....
Here is #1, as two images, one rotated 180 degrees.

What do I think is successful about the design?
  • there is good contrast in value
  • the partial circles are a good visual break from straight lines
  • variety of line widths are interesting
What isn't successful about the design?
  •  heavy, dark horizontal lines
  • design seems chunky
  • there doesn't seem to be any flow across the design
It's interesting to see these less successful parts once there are on the computer screen that I couldn't see on my design wall.
As for orientation, I prefer the one on the right. But once I make some changes, we'll see if that's still the case.

Here it is back again, with a couple small changes.

 It's better, but I'm not sure its right. I've cropped the sides in the next photo closer to what it would be as 12" x 24".
Ok, now the orange chunk in the lower left looks too clunky. I may take that section out and work on it.
Comments? I have a thick skin, so be honest!

Thanks for the comments, I really do appreciate everyones thoughts.
Here it is with the orange fixed up and another orientation that Rayna had suggested. I hadnt considered placing it on the horizontal, it may lead me in an entirely new direction with my design ideas!

 Now I really like that spot that had been replaced.....not sure about the large black and blue piece tho!


Anonymous said...

This is not a critique of what you have done, just my personal preference.
I would love to see it with
lots of value and texture using black/white/gray. The background grays are just so gorgeous I would have kept building on that with maybe a small amount of color.

Rayna said...

Susan, follow your instincts. I am sending you an email because I can't insert a photo into this comment section.

Anonymous said...

I think a dark binding would help with the visual flow. But over all I really like it.
Ann Kovalchick

Ann said...

I agree that the orange on the left is too much. I would try making it narrower and increase the green piece. I also find the whole bottom panel needs something, as too much grey. Maybe increase the size of the left panel towards the bottom; maybe move the orange strip further to the right. I'm sure you have a better design sense than I have, just some thoughts.

roadie said...

You might make the orange piece really skinny and add a wide strip of the gray to the right of the orange. Overall, it is a balanced piece. What do you see as a focal point and how will you accomplish it?

Jill Kerttula said...

My go to word when critiquing my own or other people's work is 'hierarchy'... is there a place for my eye to land and a direction (or as you said 'flow'? I think that is what I am missing here. The Grey is not accented by the color; the color is not supported by the gray... they are vying for my attention equally. My eye is not being guided through the design.

Susan Purney Mark said...

Thank you all for the comments, I really appreciate the input! I did make a change to the orange piece by making it skinnier. And I have placed it back in the blog and also turned it 90 degrees to see if that helped. You might check it out and see.
My next piece is much better (I think) and I will post that one tomorrow, a much better flow and balance. An interesting comment from Jill that the grey and colour do not support each other. Do you mean that there should be more greyed colours (tones) in the piece?
Check back for another look tomorrow.
Thanks again for the input.